The Sound of White Noise

Shhhh! The popular response to unwanted noise in presentations, movies and libraries now has another application; bewildering babies. Turns out that white noise at a decent volume has the power to set babies on stun instantly; stopping the most uncontrollable wailing in its tracks. Replicating the soothing sounds of the womb takes them back to better days before air, gravity and having to use your own organs ruined the party. Shushing, range hoods, hair driers, and now vacuums are all at my disposal to disarm poor little Ivan's frustrations and lull him into a hypnotic state.