Fun with Fatigue

So I'm starting a new segment called "I'm so tired that I...", to be read to the tune of 'your mamma's so fat' jokes:

I'm so tired that one night I sat down to pay some bills with my phone and a can of gingerale and when I was ready to begin I opened the can and put it up to my ear.

I'm so tired that I'll watch just about anything on late night tv when up with Ivan. Even infomercials. This from a person who rarely watched a shred of television in the past.

I'm so tired that before I dropped Ivan's jeans into the washing machine I checked his pockets for Kleenex or coins.